Posted by: malpants | August 24, 2009

WordPress let me return!

I’ve been MIA lately because wordpress decided it to would join the conspiracy against my motivation.  This piece is a bit overdue and equally as rusty but you know, read anyway.  Not like you have a job or anything important to do.

The most lucrative thing I have ever been a part of in the past, well, ever, has been my graduation party. I am not going to see that hourly rate for another ten years or so. Never before has my inebriation been so well received or my physical incapabilities so encouraged. In short, I cleaned up.

The morning after my party I surveyed the battleground over a cool-ish Coors light, praying that tapping the rockies would distract my stomach from vomiting. Red cups in trees, uncapped sharpies, Tim in the bushes. My checks piled high, I was feeling good considering the amount of relatives I close talked into getting me more ice cream cake. It was a good night, I had breakfast coming my way compliments of my mom, and the sky was agreeing with my beach plans. The weekend was mine, I in turn was the toilet bowl’s, and everyone was satisfied.

Monday. Few remnants of the celebration of my graduation remained. A list of thank you notes to be written stared back at me while my father lectured me about cracking down on the job hunt and alternate job paths. The drone of dulling hope and lowered expectations was nothing new, but something felt different. Worse, to be more accurate. I no longer had something to anticipate. There was no celebratory intentions behind plans; it was only looking back and groping forward. My bank account and recycling bin were the only things being put to better use, and even that is a stretch. I have no real conclusion for this piece, other than that I recommend avoiding graduation. Time to construct a post-graduation party plan beyond a CL and bacon.

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