Posted by: lianaaa | July 7, 2009

Meet Liana.

With that face, shell go anywhere.

With that face, she'll go anywhere.

I’m Liana.  And I am an underachiever.

That’s me up there with the goofy-ass face, downright pleased as pie that I actually graduated.  Having done only enough to scrape by in four years, bouncing from major to major and finally settling on one that was fun, interesting, and like all the others, a huge waste of my goddamned time—well that deserves a thumbs-up next to the woman who once told me I wouldn’t make much of myself if I kept being so effing lazy.

This first entry marks my efforts to continue being so effing lazy while simultaneously searching for and avoiding any kind of gainful employment.

Following my lifelong pattern, it took me months after being invited to write for Idle Ivy to actually write something.  I feel a little bad about it.  But not too bad.  “Idle” could be my middle name, after all, so it’s only fitting.  You’d never know it, ‘cause I did a lot in college.  I got extracurriculars out the wazoo and spent most of my time en route from one to the other, but I tell you, ain’t NOBODY do idle like I do.

After May 24, 2009, I spent just over a month at my folks’ house in Delaware, making half-assed attempts at applying for jobs every few days.  I mostly stayed awake til 4 and slept til 1, sometimes glancing at job postings between turning pages of comic books and during commercials on Food Network.  Marketable Attribute #1: I am an incredible multi-tasker.

On July 1, I moved into an apartment in Manhattan’s glorious Spanish Harlem.  Here, I continue wallowing in unemployment and idle-atry, only my sleep schedule is somewhat more regulated and I carry mace wherever I go.  Marketable Attribute #2: I am always prepared.

I always thought that Cornell would leave me with no marketable skills and nothing but a piece of paper that doesn’t even say my damn major (which, by the way, was “Feminist, Gender, and Sexuality Studies”—I never thought I’d actually believe being an English major would have served me better).  And to be honest…  Well, that’s exactly how it turned out.

My plan as it stands right now is to one day wake up to a mysterious voice in my head telling me exactly what I need to do in life and exactly how to pursue it.  I thought that’s what I’d get out of an Ivy League education, anyway, but I’m pretty sure they’re just really behind on sending out all the Voice of God notifications.

I’ll wait.  Pass the Cheetos.


  1. yes, youre here.

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