Posted by: malpants15 | June 11, 2009


So today I received an email from a human resources department about the status of my application.  Apparently, there are candidates whose skills more closely match those that the position requires, which, as the posting describes, include:

Must be able to attend work regularly and predictably

Ability to operate a personal computer

The employee may be required to push, pull, lift, and/or carry up to 20 pounds

Work involves walking, talking, hearing, sitting, bending, using hands to handle, feel carry or operate objects, tools, or controls, and reaching with hands and arms. Vision abilities required by this job include close vision and the ability to adjust focus.

Of course I have simplified this list for my own uses, but I have not fabricated any part of it.  One of the things the job description included was administering drug tests.  Yea.  Peeing.  The educational requirements?  High school diploma and a year of semi-relevant experience,  three years of experience, or any other relative combination of education/experience.  I guess a BS in labor relations from Cornell doesn’t qualify.  Did I mention I had someone at the company turn my resume in?  Because I did.  Even though I was embarassed at how much I had lowered my standards, I was willing to swallow my pride for health coverage.  Now I have no way to pay the doctor to remove the dignity lodged behind my tonsils. 

As long as these nauseating misalignments between my logical expectations and my occupational experiences continue to give me indigestion, you can look forward to similar rants.


  1. hahaha lovely. I just got denied from a potential job at ESPN, the responsibilities of which were exactly what I did last summer. However, I think the HR specialist has a crush on me, so… fingers crossed that I get health insurance through marriage!

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